Favourite Tweets Of The Week

Favourite Tweets of the week

Hi everyone! I’m sorry for my lack of contribution to society  slacking so hard on my blog lately. I went on a much needed hiatus from life and vacationed my over-worked-and-run-down-soul. Fret not thyself! I am back and hopefully with a ton to say about all sorts of things everybody cares about!

Here’s zlowdown…

Explain why you chose your blog’s title and what it means to you.

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I’m going to begin by saying that I wish I had come up with some clever blog title after thinking long and hard but I merely stumbled upon mine in the most random way.

Oh my gosh, I’m freakin’ Bri ish!

I was doing what any other normal person would do on a Sunday afternoon — call my cousin and pretend I had an accent(duh!). Growing up, I had this obsession with my British family members and I would beg them to teach me how they did that thing with their mouth. You know — the thing where they sound incredibly cool and different. Of course, they would always reply with a simple ” but American sounds so much better”. Those silly Brits had no idea that being Canadian meant I didn’t speak American! 

Fast forward to later that evening and there I was; staring at my Macbook with a blank title as I struggled to create my first WordPress blog. I knew that I wanted to write about what I would find interesting and what I relate to the most. I was a 20something looking to give people the honest insight on people my age and what they’re up to (because no where else on the web is there such a thing).

After many failed attempts at a unique blog title (surprise, surprise), I decided to write down some questions. Like what made me an expert on 20somethings anyway? I mean I could barely cook pasta without screwing up. I never know if I’m doing anything right and I still call my mom when my tummy hurts!

THAT’s why he didn’t go to prom with you.

Then, like a lightning bolt (shut up, it’s how I picture it in my mind as I write this) it came to me. I knew that I could offer something to the poor chap who would be reading my mostly useless posts because I was the person all of my friends would go to when they wanted the “411”. I am the girl who people come to when they want to find out how everyone else feels. I was the person that offered the no bullshit straight up advice to your problems when everyone else was afraid to say, “You’re an idiot”. If we went to a party and you wanted to know the skinny on what really happened between that douche bag Blake and annoying Ashley, I’d be your girl. I’ve always been that girl. For as long as I can remember, I have been giving everyone in my life “the low down” on life, boys, sex, family and everything in between.

There was only one problem — the low down, lowdown, low down, lodown, lo-down, a low down were all taken. Ugh, but how can that be? It’s my blog name and it fits my writing profile. Can I request to take the blog name from someone? Fine — I guess I’ll have to improvise.

Bingo!

That’s when I thought, what if I add z (the first letter of my name) to lowdown because it would be me giving you the lowdown? I’ll admit, it sounded really really dumb at first. I paced my apartment saying it over and over and over again to make sure that I didn’t absolutely hate it. Naturally, after saying it so many times I started to do with an accent. A British accent, a Chinese accent and a French accent.

The French accent was perfect. It sounded so eloquent and hilarious at the same time, I couldn’t help myself. I said it over 30 more times with the accent and laughed every time. Well, I do want people to laugh when they read my blog right?

“qui qui”

That’s when I wrote my first blog post and told all of my new friends that when they read my blog title, they should try saying it with a French accent!

Voilà — and there you have it folks.

Valentine’s Day: Disaster Stories

Valentine’s day is a holiday that everyone and their mother has a strong opinion on. Some people absolutely love the flowers, chocolate and romance. While others despise the commercial rip off and the unrealistic expectations of partners. I’ve always thought the sweet gestures and romantic stories were really great reminders for lovebirds. I think everyone could lighten up a bit and enjoy the day for what it is — a showcase of love.

In the spirit of the great St. Valentine’s Day, I have found some good ‘Valentine’s Day gone wrong’ stories on the web to share with you all. I hope you get a chuckle out of these like I did! 

This can’t be happening.

Ex Hits the Spot — After secretly dating two guys (Dan and Joe) for a few months, I told Joe I didn’t want a relationship, so that I could get serious with Dan. On Valentine’s Day, Dan took me out to dinner, and I almost choked on my drink when our waiter arrived. It was Joe! To make matters worse, Dan ordered a dish with béchamel sauce, which he loved. He gushed to the waiter, a.k.a. my ex, “If she could cook like this I’d marry her.” I wanted to die.

Oh no he di’int.

Good Morning —Valentine’s Day, I called my boyfriend at college to see if he got my flowers and another woman answered the phone — at 8 am.

Awkward…

It’s not in the cards — In my group of friends, there was a guy I really liked, and we’d become pretty good buddies. Valentine’s Day was coming up, and neither of us was dating anyone. I was so excited when he knocked on my door holding an adorable, homemade Valentine card. He even glued macaroni noodles onto it, like kids do in grade school. He showed it to me, and I was about to say thank you and give him a hug when he said, ‘Do you think Kate will like it?’ Kate was a mutual friend of ours whom he had a crush on. I somehow kept my composure until he left, at which point I wallowed in my worst Valentine’s Day ever.

Well this is mortifying.

My bloody Valentine — I took a girl out on Valentine’s Day after we’d been dating for a few weeks. The date went really well and, when we came home, we started kissing on her porch. She pulled away because she said she felt something on her face. When I opened my eyes, I saw that she had blood running down her cheeks. I’ve always had a problem with bloody noses, and I’d gotten one when we were kissing! She acted like it was no big deal, but I never heard from her again, and I guess I don’t entirely blame her.

If you want to be my Facebook friend

Let’s consider this a code of conduct, shall we?

Poke me & die.

— Don’t ever poke me. Just don’t. 

Mom, you’re embrassing yourself!

—  Mom, please don’t ever try to add me on Facebook. Like ever. 

OMG. HAYLOR.

— Please do not write a one page rant — as your status. (Newsflash: blog)

He bugs me so much.

— If you want to be the most annoying human being on earth, then go ahead. INVITE ME TO STUPID EVENTS EVERYDAY!

EVERYBODY HATES YOU AND NOT BECAUSE YOU’RE “IN LOVE”.

— The entire world will hate you for the gross mushy gushy sh*t you write on your boyfriend/girlfriend’s wall,not just me. 

Lookin’ at you MOMS.

— If you are over 40, you are not allowed to “like” everything I post. This is why you’re not suppose to have Facebook.

Judge me all you want, I CAN’T STAND MARIAH CAREY.

— Do not argue with me over MY personal opinion on MY Facebook status (You always lose because it’s not your life).

Seriously — I want to know who invented this awful game.

— FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DO NOT ASK ME TO PLAY FARMVILLE!

Yikes…

— Do not like a photo of me from 6 years ago and rehash all of my insecurities.

Yeah…someone might find this a tad bit offensive.

— Try your very best not to be offensive (This one is tough but you must try).

There you have it. If you comply with all of the above, we can totes be Facebook friends 🙂

My favourite tweets of this week

It’s that time again!

Man, I love twitter.

My favourite tweets of the week

I love the twitterverse as much as the next person but I sort of hit a wall a few months ago. I suppose I just got tired of the ‘fandoms’ of young teen celebrities taking over trending topics with desperate pleas to Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus. Then one day, along came a re-tweet of one of Kelly Oxford‘s hilarious tweets. Kelly, a witty young mother and fellow Canadian is known for her comical analysis of pop culture and very blunt humor about her family. That’s when I discovered an entire community of twitter-made comedians — each funnier than the next.

So I’ve decided that every week I will share 5 of my favourite tweets with you all.

Enjoy!